Suck It, Girl Scouts


Just when I finally decide enough is enough and I begin my annual journey to lose the five pounds from the holiday, those militant, doe-eyed bitches, the Girl Scouts, come out of the woodwork with their crumpled up order forms for the annual $11 a box fundraiser (that nets them .16 cents)

You can’t resist their sweet little faces. I should know, I used to have my own Girl Scout and I was actually the COOKIE MOM.

It’s the same every year. I sprinkle orders out to a half dozen or so of those little she-bots. Then, like yesterday, the orders start coming in.. “Wow, I ordered $24 worth of Samoas from you, did I?” “Yes, and I’ll take the money, please” says my favorite Girl Scout whose name rhymes with Karen.

Ugh! $120 dollars later, I’m in a Thin Mint coma reassessing how long it will take me to lose the now eight pounds I need to lose.

Add that to the Valentine’s candy and add one snow storm…



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