It was 16 years ago tonight that I was 208 pounds, a week over due and I hadn’t seen my ankles for a month. I was a bit of a reluctant mom to be. I got pregnant the first month I tried and spent the whole pregnancy trying to get used to the idea. I was never a “can’t wait to have a baby” person.
We didn’t find out the sex of the baby because we wanted a surprise. Well, SURPRISE!!! The moment she was born, my world exploded. What a feeling!! I couldn’t believe she was mine.
Fast forward 16 years. For real. It went just like that. Snap, she’s 16 and off to college in two years.
I could go into the typical “I’m so proud of the woman she’s become, blah, blah” and that is all true.
That would make it seem easy. However, there’s a meaty, complicated underbelly in raising a daughter. I’m not talking about the endless fights about her attitude, her tone, her cleanliness, etc.
I’m talking about the heart wrenching feeling you have with everything she experiences in her life. Being a girl mom is filled with major highs and major lows – many times on the same day. See, I know what it’s like to be a girl so I am hyper aware of every invitation she didn’t receive and every small victory she’s celebrated.
I REMEMBER all of those feelings. Raising my son is so much easier. I have no idea what goes on in his mind and I don’t feel as compelled to compare my past experiences with his.
I have to say that one of the coolest things about being Hannah’s mom has been watching her navigate through it all. Sometimes, she’s made choices I wouldn’t have made, said things I wouldn’t have said, try as I might to change her mind (if you knew her, you’d know it’s not happening). And she’s done it so well! She’s become her own person.
It’s been quite a ride. One that I wasn’t prepared for. Many ups and a few downs but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I actually think we’ll be friends once she sees how awesome I am (still waiting).
Guess what? I’m going to say it. I’m proud of the woman she’s become.
Happy sweet 16 Hannah.