Ladies and Gentlemen…this is what happens when my friends and I drink wine with dinner …….
Katie: I’m having gum surgery on the 20th so count me out for lunch on the 21st. I’ll be on a cold liquid diet. Woohoo!
Amy: that sounds awful. Sorry I will make you soup.
Katie: Only gazpacho unless you are trying to sabotage my skin grafts.
Amy: You can’t have chicken noodle? Bean soup? Chicken chili? That’s soup discrimination.
Katie: IT is! Power to the soups! No chewing for a couple of days and NOTHING hot. The dead persons gums need to adhere to mine.
Amy: Ok. So cold tomato soup. F@#! it. I’ll bring you a frosty.
Katie: I know. But seriously, I won’t need anything . Oh! Frosty is perfect. I’ll take that!
Kristen: That’s what I wanted to do. I’ll do a Chik fila shake then.
Amy: That is gross. Do you know anything about the dead person going in your mouth?
Amy: What if they were bigots? Do you want them in your mouth??!
Kristen: What?! Are you getting cadaver pieces??
Katie: I’d like to get a bio on them but not sure if the dr can provide me with that. I’ll check. Maybe it will change my personality.
Katie: I’m getting cadaver pieces! Yummy!
Kristen: Steve has a cadaver in his knee. Maybe it’s the same person.
Katie: Maybe Steve and I share DNA.
Amy: You will probably get some old lady who had a huge butt. Thank God she had good gums.
Kristen: And, she was generous.
Katie: Oh NO! I never thought it could affect my butt! I have to rethink this.
Amy: You’ll have fantastic gums and a huge ass. Something to think about.
Kristen: Maybe you’ll start craving new types of foods. Hominy grits.
Katie: Forget it-I’ll keep my butt and cravings and lose my teeth. I’m not doing the procedure now.
Amy: Good. So now you can have lunch with us on the 20th.