The Dreaded Deli Counter

Everyone has an errand that they don’t enjoy. Mine by far is the deli counter. My weekly visit to the otherwise fine grocery store is always dampened by the dreaded visit to the counter. (I won’t mention the name of the store but it rhymes with Derek Jeeter)

Here’s how my visit yesterday went down. Walk up to the counter and I’m ignored. There are three people walking around yet no one manages to see me. I’m feeling like the last girl asked to dance at a middle school party until finally someone smells my desperation. So, a nice young girl shuffles her way over in no particular hurry.

Me:Hello, I’ll have two-thirds of a pound of Ever Roast Chicken Breast sliced thin, please”.

Nice Young Girl:OK, no problem.”  Then comes the search for the wrapped meat. “Oops, no Ever Roast in the front display. I’ll have to go in the back to get some more.”

In my mind I yell NO! This happens to be every damn time. Well not today!

Me:Never mind, I’ll just take the Chipotle Chicken instead.”

The dramatically slow turning of the hunks of meat continue. While looking for Chipotle, she finds another type of chicken breast.

Me:No, I’ll just take the Chipotle. Thanks.

Nice Young Girl:Ok, so three-thirds of a pound?” What?! WTF?! I’m scared for our country’s future but that’s another blog.

Me:Ummmm, no, two-thirds of a pound sliced thin.” Slow saunter back to the machine.

Nice Young Annoying Girl:Oops, I forgot to put my gloves on.” THIS IS TORTURE! Am I on candid camera??

Nice Young Annoying and Slow Girl needs some assistance getting the machine working. Pause for another worker. HOW IS THIS HAPPENING?!

So I watch, slice by agonizing slice, and I feel like I’m holding my breath. I’ m thinking HURRY UP!! I’m a VERY busy person. I have a life you know. I don’t have time to just stand here for eight minutes waiting for meat! I probably won’t even eat it and I’ll just throw it away and do this same thing again next week. GAAH!

Nice Young Girl with a big smile:Here you go! Have a great day!

Me:Oh you, too! Thanks a lot. Have a good weekend!”

Until next Friday…

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