I Have Small Earholes and Other Things That Sucked About Saturday

Last weekend, Hannah and I had a trip to Boston. Since I’ve previously established how much I think January blows, you can imagine I was excited for a weekend distraction to get me two days closer to February. Let’s just say, the day started out a little rocky…

1. Woke up at 4:00 a.m. for a 7:00 a.m. flight.

2. After a week of massive exercise and self-deprivation, weighed myself and managed to gain a pound.

3. Go downstairs to make my coffee and my Keurig coffee maker informs me that I didn’t “de-scale” it so I’m not getting my cup o’joe. Its fucking 4:12 a.m. Keurig, are you serious?? You bitch.

4. Drive through the icy streets, get to the airport at 5:50, check-in, print boarding passes, order coffee, sit down at the gate by 6:15, check email only to get a message from Southwest that our flight has been cancelled. (Obviously, this fact could take up an entire raging page of WTF. How can you cancel a flight when people have boarding passes with no notification, no plan, no people to staff the counter? I went through the five stages of grief, the six stages of wanting to do property damage and recited the serenity prayer three times. Seething with anger, my husband told me later that I said “I’m going to blow this mother fucker”. What does that even mean? Thank God TSA didn’t hear that.)

5. So, stranded for FIVE HOURS only to hope that the next flight isn’t cancelled, I realize that I forgot my headphones and I’m sitting next to a 16-year-old who basically has hers surgically embedded into her ear of which I am reminded every five minutes when I make a comment about my people watching and she silently shrugs and points to her ears. SO, I go to the Best Buy vending machine and buy the shittiest pair of $25 headphones on the planet. Guess what? They were too big for my SMALL EARHOLES! Are you fucking kidding me?

Could life get worse? Of course it can. But not on this day.

Two coffees and three meals later (see complaint #2), we got on the plane at 12:40 and had a great flight. I got Hannah where she needed to be and ended the day with some amazing old friends. Serenity now…

.serenity poem

0 comments… add one

Leave a Comment