It’s January and I Hate House Hunters International

It’s January and I’m broke, fat, bored and suddenly annoyed at one of my favorite shows – House Hunters International.

Where do these goddamn people come from? I’m lying on my bed in the dark trying not to think about having more wine and these people are whisking off to foreign lands to buy one-of-a-kind bungalows in Cambodia.   I won’t even address the jet-setting couples looking for a two million dollar get-a-way nestled in the mountains of their favorite Caribbean Island.

No, I’m holding all of my distain for the families with kids who are “looking for another great adventure”.   The narrative always starts the same way. “This busy family of five is looking for a new way of life where they can immerse their children into a new culture, learn a language and find the true meaning of life.”

Then they cut to this ADORABLE family with all smiles and happiness. For real? I can’t get my kids to wear a coat to school and these parents have convinced their kids that living in Guatemala will be a good thing? Cut to the next scene where the kids are dancing with the locals in traditional garb while eating a monkey or something. No iPads, no phones, no attitude. What gives??

The family always insists on a house that has enough room for entertaining. Entertaining who exactly? You have NO friends and can’t speak the language!

Ordinarily, I go along with these shows and really get into the house they should choose. Maybe a little too much. But the contrast of my January life with their big life change is too much for me. I’m starting to go around the calendar again with the similar surroundings, activities and obligations and they’ve busted out of the mold and are DOING SOMETHING.

I guess truth be told, I’m jealous. They’ve got a big set of balls by changing things up in their life. (And weird Stepford kids, just sayin’)

Maybe I’ll go crazy and watch a subtitled movie or eat Indian food. Baby steps..


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