The Ten Commandments of Youth Sports

Today is Sunday. Many people go to church today but lots of us with children who play sports go to “the field” on Sunday. Therefore, I’ve created the 10 Commandments of Youth Sports that we can follow to at least give us a slight chance to get into heaven.  

  1. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it available for lacrosse, baseball and soccer. Six days your parents shalt thou labor, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the Sabbath of YOUTH SPORTS: in it thou shalt not do any work. For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD played soccer, and hallowed it.
  2. I am the COACH, which have brought thee out of the land of recreational level, out of the house of “just for fun”.  Thou shalt have no other COACHES before Me.
  3.  Thou shalt not take the name of the REFEREE in vain; for the REFEREE will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.
  4.  Honor thy father and thy mother: for they are the ones who pay for the fields, equipment and giveth thee.
  5. Thou shalt kill if asked by thy coach.
  6.  Thou shalt always bring a water bottle and arrive one hour early for warm-up.
  7. Thou shalt steal. Whether it be the base or the ball.
  8.  Thou shalt ALWAYS bear false witness against thy opponent.
  9. Thou shalt covet thy opponent’s house, and his/her teammates and anything that is thy opponents.
  10.  And one just for me… Thou shalt always honor thy TEAM MANAGER for they work hard and just need thou to get back to them.

GOOOO, insert name of your team here!!!

Amen.

 

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